The "Everyone’s a Bit ADHD" Phase and Why It Kindly Fuck Off

Right, let’s get one thing straight before we even start, if I hear one more person say, "Oh, I get distracted too, I think we’re all a bit ADHD," I am going to lose my absolute mind.

No, Sandra, you’re not "a bit ADHD." You just forgot your Tesco Bag for Life once. Saying we’re all a bit ADHD is like saying we’re all a bit pregnant because you felt a bit bloated after a chippy tea. Fuck off. The "relatable" comments of "aren't we all..." don't make us feel included; they make us feel invisible. They minimise the sheer, exhausting effort it takes for us to do the things you find "simple."

It’s a literal neurodevelopmental disorder, not a quirky personality trait you pick up when you’ve had too much caffeine. ADHD affects every single second of our lives from how we process emotions to why we can’t remember if we actually locked the front door or if we just thought about locking it while staring at a magpie (one for sorrow, two for joy. If you know, you know). It’s not a choice, and it’s certainly not "everyone."

The Reality: Late Diagnosis is a Trip

Getting diagnosed in your 20s, 30s, 40s ect is like finally getting the subtitles for a film you’ve been watching in a foreign language for decades. Lately, there’s been this massive surge in people saying ADHD is a "trend" or that "everyone is getting diagnosed these days. Everyone isn't "getting" ADHD. We’re just finally getting the vocabulary to explain why we’ve felt uncapable of certain things for thirty years.

People look at TikTok or Instagram and see a list of symptoms and go, "I do that! I must have it!" And look, maybe they do, ive helped lots of clients in their experiences of exploring ADHD and how they can go about getting a diagnosis. But there is a massive difference between occasionally losing your keys and the paralysing executive dysfunction that makes you want to cry over a pile of laundry because you can't figure out the first step to folding it and its to under or over stimulating to put away so it lives on the floor for a few days (floordrobes are a real thing for us!). We know exactly what we need to do; we just physically, neurologically cannot make the 'start' button click.

• It’s not "Naughty": It’s executive dysfunction. My brain has 47 tabs open, 3 of them are frozen, and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

• It’s not "Lazy": It’s literally being unable to start a task because the steps between "get up" and "do the dishes" feel like climbing Everest in flip-flops.

• It’s not "Hyperactive": For many of us, the hyperactivity is internal. It’s the "racing brain" that won’t shut up at 3:00 AM because it suddenly needs to research the history of the Merseyrail (established in 1977 incase you was wondering)

When you get that diagnosis, you don't just celebrate. You grieve. You mourn the person you could have been if you hadn't spent twenty years thinking you were just "broken," "difficult," or "a mess."

The Layers of Late Diagnosis:

• Relief: "Oh my god, I'm not actually a lazy piece of shit."

• Anger: "Why did nobody notice me? Why did I have to struggle for so long?"

• The Masking Hangover: Realising that half of your personality is just a series of coping mechanisms you built to look "normal" for the benefit of everyone else.

The Myth: The "Naughty Little Boy"

We’ve all seen the stereotype, haven’t we? The image the world has of ADHD is always a the naughty kid in class that spent their afternoon rocking their chair back and verbally abusing the teachers. The "Naughty Boy" stereotype has done more damage to the neurodivergent community than a pair of blunt scissors in a craft lesson. Because of that one size fits all image, an entire generation of us especially the girls and the "quiet" kids got completely missed. We weren’t naughty; we were sat there staring at a wall, daydreaming, while our internal monologue screamed at us to just do the work. The majority of my school reports always said "Abbey would do better if she just applied herself" or "she's really intelligent but just gets easily distracted by friends". Also, Not all ADHD is hyperactive. Some of us have Inattentive ADHD.

Hyperactivity: It's Not Just Leg-Jiggling

The world thinks hyperactivity means running around like a headless chicken. For a lot of late diagnosed adults, hyperactivity is internal. Imagine your brain is a Ferrari engine but you’ve got bicycle brakes. That’s us.

• It’s the racing thoughts at 3:00 AM because you suddenly need to know how they build tunnels underwater.

• It’s the interrupting people because if you don’t say the thought right now, it will vanish into the ether forever.

• It’s the emotional dysregulation where a minor rejection feels like a physical punch to the gut (thanks to Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria !).

The ADHD Tax: The Most Expensive Subscription You Never Signed Up For

If the "Everyone’s a bit ADHD" crowd really wanted to walk a mile in our shoes, they’d need to set fire to a fifty pound note once a week just for the thrill of it. Because that, my friends, is the ADHD Tax. The ADHD Tax is the financial penalty for being neurodivergent in a world designed for people who remember to cancel their free trials.

It’s not that we’re "bad with money." It’s that our brains don't process the concept of "future consequences" the same way yours does. We live in two time zones: NOW and NOT NOW. If a bill isn’t due now, it doesn't exist. Until it does, and suddenly it’s got a £40 late fee attached to it.

The ADHD Tax looks like:

• The "I'll Cancel That Tomorrow" Subscription: Paying £14.99 a month for a gym you haven't stepped foot in since the January new years resolution because the thought of finding your login details feels unbearable.

• The Produce Graveyard: Buying a fridge full of organic kale, fruit and veg because "this week I’m being healthy," only to find them three weeks later looking like a science experiment gone wrong. That’s £30 straight in the bin.

• The "Where’s My Fucking...?" Replacement Fee: Buying your fourth pair of AirPods or your third bank card this year because the ones you had have ascended to a different dimension.

• Parking Fines: Not because you’re not assed, but because you genuinely forgot the car was there, or you got distracted by a cool dog and forgot to pay on the app.

• 
  

The Final Word: We’re Not "A Bit ADHD," We’re Just Finally Home

So, there you have it. If you’ve made it this far without getting distracted by a shiny object or falling down a rabbit hole, I’m proud of you. Being late diagnosed isn’t a death sentence, and it’s not a "trend." It’s an explanation.

To My Neuro-Spicy readers :

You are not the "naughty kid." You are not the "disappointing adult." You are a powerhouse of creativity, empathy, and hyperfocus (when the dopamine hits right). The ADHD Tax is a bastard, the stereotype is a lie, and your "Doom Piles" are just monuments to your busy, brilliant mind. Stop apologising for taking up space in a way that doesn't fit a neat little box. We’ve spent enough of our lives trying to be "quiet" and "compliant." It’s time to be loud, be proud, and be exactly who we are chaos, last minute crafts, glitter, late fees, and all.