The "Great Sleep Struggle": Why the ADHD Brain Won't Switch Off
- Abbey Brocklehurst
- Jan 23
- 2 min read
Let’s be real for a second sleep is hard when your brain has 47 tabs open, one of them is playing a song from 2009 on loop, and another is worrying about that thing you said to the waitress three years ago when they said have a nice meal and you said yeah you too! (still makes me cringe i said this)
If you’re neurodivergent (specifically AuDHD like me), you’ve probably been told to "just try a lavender pillow spray" or "turn off your phone an hour before bed." While that’s lovely in theory, for an extra spicy brain, it’s about as helpful as a chocolate teapot.
Why does our brain hate bedtime?
It’s not that we’re "lazy" or "not trying hard enough." Our brains are literally wired differently.
Circadian Rhythm Chaos: Many ADHD and Autistic folk have what’s called a "delayed sleep phase." Our internal clocks are just set to a different time zone than the rest of the world. We’re natural night owls!
The "Quiet" Lure: For many of us, nighttime is the only time the world stops demanding things from us. It’s the only time it's quiet enough to actually think, so we stay up to reclaim that "me time" (shout out to my Revenge Bedtime Procrastinators!).
Sensory Stuff: That tiny "drip" from the tap? The texture of the duvet? The fact that your left foot feels "too hot" but your right one is fine? Sensory processing differences make it much harder to sleep.
Moving away from "Sleep Hygiene"
Traditional sleep hygiene often feels like another thing to fail at. Instead of forcing yourself into a neurotypical box, let’s try being neuroaffirming about our rest.
Here’s what actually helps my AuDHD brain:
Lower the Demand: If a 10-step skincare routine feels like a mountain, skip it, something is better than nothing. Use a face wipe in bed. Make the "getting ready" part as low-friction as possible.
Follow the Stim: Sometimes we need "brain food" to shut down. If listening to a familiar podcast, a specific "brown noise" frequency, or even having a "comfort show" on in the background helps you drift off do it.
The "Dopamine Dump": If your brain is racing, get it out. Keep a notebook by the bed and scribble down all the "to-dos" or random thoughts. Once it’s on paper, your brain can stop trying to "hold onto it" for tomorrow.
Embrace the "Spiciness": Some nights, sleep just isn't happening. Instead of lying there shaming yourself (which just keeps you awake longer!), try to practice self-compassion. Your brain is doing its best in a world not built for it.
You don’t have to figure it out alone
If your relationship with sleep is tied up in guilt, burnout, or feeling "lost," therapy can be a space to untangle that. We won't just tick boxes; we'll look at how your specific brain works and find ways to make life feel a bit less chaotic.
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